Mind Rape
by My Dearest Sally Sparrow
Summary: '911? Yeah we need the cops down here; there's a serious case of mind rape...' Poor Leah is the first to find out when Claire grows up. Sort of a sequel to Working On It. RATED T FOR THEMES AND SOME LANGUAGE.
1. The Bitch Is Back

**PLEASE READ THIS: THIS STORY HAS THEMES THAT ARE T RATED AND T RATED FOR A REASON. IF YOU ARE VERY NAÏVE AND INNOCENT AND WANT TO STAY THAT WAY, I ADVISE YOU TO REVIEW THIS STORY SAYING THAT IT ROCKED, PUT THIS STORY AND ME ON YOUR FAVOURITES AND CLICK THE BACK BUTTON.**

** Fine you don't have review and etc. but it would be nice. ;) Enjoy…**

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I had always wanted a kid. Someone to me could call my own, and teach my mistakes to.

Of course, that was mostly when I thought the tribal legends were stories that Billy Black made up to see how annoyed he could get people. Which no offense, but I'm still pretty sure the bonfires every month are for the old man to have some excuse to gab about something.

That was also before Sam and Emily became everyone's favorite 'adorable couple!' It used to _me. _I used to be the one everyone gossiped about. Fate and its sidekick Imprinting took that away from me. Now everyone says things like, "Isn't Sam such a lucky boy to be dating a sweetheart like Emily? Oh, too bad for Leah though. Remember dear; never date anyone who you think might ditch you for your cousin!"

Yeah, I've never actually heard anyone say that, but I'm sure they do. Behind my back, that is.

And that was before my ex-best friend Fate decided I needed even more of a crappy life, and made me into a giant, menopausal monster. I can totally see the conversation now:

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_Fate: Well damn it. I'm bored._

_ Imprinting: Hey boss! I got an idea! Let's make that unlucky sap Leah suffer again!_

_ Nice Guy: Well we've already made her boyfriend leave her and her dad die in the same month! Maybe we should lay off._

_ Fate: … you are so fired. Anyway Imprinting, I like the way you think. What should we do?_

_ Karma: We could make her a bitch like me!_

_ Imprinting: What?_

_ Karma: We could make her the only female shape-shifter ever!_

_ Fate: YES! And while, we're at it, let's turn her brother into one too!_

_ Nice Guy: But Seth's just a kid!_

_ Fate: Damn it, didn't I fire you already! Come on guys; let's get those wolf-genes working!_

_

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_

…

I'm pretty sure they also messed up my mind too.

When I started phasing, I became a legit bitch. I started taking my anger out on pretty much anyone who said one word to me. Some people say that's really overdramatic, but screw them. My suckish life gives me the right to do that.

I never say anything that's not one-hundred percent true. Therefore, it's not me that hurts people. The truth takes care of that all by itself.

So yeah. I hate every wolf, except Seth, Jake, and the rare times when Quil and Embry aren't being petty jerks. Especially Sam. And you know why.

But there is one type of people that I despise even more than Mr. I'm-A-Dick himself.

Those. Damn_. Imprints._

First area of issue: Emily. Absolutely no explanation needed.

Second area of issue: Kim. She is the single most annoying goddamn person I have ever met. She's a whiny idiot. No wonder she fell for Jared. Anyway, whenever I see her, she gets this weird gleam in her eyes and the scariest smile on her face. She bounces, literally, _bounces _over to me and starts talking about "how awesome it must be to be a werewolf!" Newsflash kid, it's not fun and we're actually shape shifters. But unfortunately, all that Dr. Seuss must be going to your head.

Third area of issue: Nessie (Oh sorry Bella, _Renesmee_). Everyone expects me to sympathize with this kid because she's one of her kind too, and feels '_all alone in this world'_. I'm sorry, but I'm allergic to crap, and that is an awful lot of it. Loch Ness Monster has someone with her 24/7, be it a Cullen or pervish wolf (Jake and occasionally my brother.) The kid is so freaking spoiled, plus just plain messed up. I'm pretty sure she gets her creepiness from her dad and her temper tantrums from her mom.

I guess the only imprint who doesn't drive me totally insane is Claire. I mean sure, we all made fun of Quil when he imprinted when she was two, but now she's cool. I use the word 'cool' loosely, because for a thirteen year old, she's a lot more mature than the teen idiots in my pack. Sometimes.

See, sometimes Claire is this sweet little angel who never does anything wrong and is never in your face, always calm and relaxed.

And sometimes, like now, she is a little brat.

"AUNT LEAH! AUNT LEAH! OPEN THE DOOR! I HAVE SOMETHING TO TELL YOU! LEAH!" she screamed ear-piercingly while pounding her fists against my door. Gosh kid, if I can hear your heartbeat from outside, do you think there's a reason to try to blast down my door?

The correct answer here is no.

I growled/yawned non-threateningly as I opened the door. What? Expected something bitchier? Try seeing me after I've had my coffee, (which I was about to guzzle until Miss Drama Queen USA decided knocking down the house of a big bad werewolf will 'save the world!')

Claire Bear jumped and latched onto my waist screaming, "LEAH! You'll never guess what just happened!"

I don't know if you've happened to notice, but I'm not a big hugger. It's just not me. And the last time I was hugged someone if was my _mom._ Sad, but true.

So I cautiously pulled her off of me and led her inside. While she proceeded to ramble about… something, I drank cup after cup of delicious liquid caffeine.

Oh coffee, I love you. You're my best friend in this dark, cruel world. You make me have a purpose to live. You lift me up when I'm down. You're like a drug without being a drug. You-

"L! E! A! H! Are you even listening to me?"

I spat my coffee back into my mug. "Oh yes. Your cousin came in and took your love of your lifel away from you and you're about to turn into a fuzzball. Am I right?"

Claire shook her head as if communicating to a child. "Leah, one, that's your story. Two, I only have one cousin, and it's a guy. Three, I have, am not, and will not, turn into a 'fuzzball'."

I rolled my eyes bitchily. Aw yeah. Caffeine's working baby.

I decided to listen to Claire, whether for her own amusement or my own.

"Okay so, you know how I'm, like, soul mates with Quil right?"

I nodded. Who could forget?

"And, you know how Quil and I are supposed to love each other, but not in that way yet?"

I froze. I really, _really _didn't like the direction this conversation was heading.

Claire pulled on her necklace. "Well, today, Quil took me to the pool. And that was cool and stuff, 'cause we've been swimming before, and it was all fine and good. Except when he got into the water, he took off his shirt. And I, like, saw his chest. I mean, I've seen it before and yeah, but this time, I just couldn't stop _staring_ and it was all awkward. It's just, he was so _ripped_ and _muscular_ and well, _hot. _You know?"

…

_Mind rape, pure mind rape…_

"I've never ever thought about Quil that way before, but all of a sudden, I kinda just wanted to jam my tongue down his throat right then and there. No wait, I think I just wanted to like, you know, _screw_ him. My mom says that it's just my hormones (not that I've told her about this) and it's perfectly natural, but I really wanted to have Quil be a part of me. And like, make him mind. Like, right?"

…

_911? Yeah we need the cops down here; there's a serious case of mind rape…_

"And now, I just don't know what to say to him! Like, I can't just go up and say like, 'Hey I know we've been like siblings forever, but now I kinda want you to pop my cherry'. Or should I say 'take my virginity' instead of 'pop my cherry'? I don't know. But my friend Ashley says you have to make the man make the first move, or else he'll be turned off. It's just; I don't think Quil sees me that way yet. What do I do Leah? How do I get Quil to help me cash in my v-card?"

…

_Please someone, help me… Get me mind soap… I've been mind-raped harder than even when what's-his-face Cullen is around…_

"Rape…" I whispered hoarsely. I couldn't believe what I've just heard. Everything was pounding, and my mind was puking.

Claire's face lit up. "Rape? Of course! Why didn't I think of that?" And with that, the corrupted girl marched out of my living room.

It took me a second to process what I'd done and go get her back.

"See Claire, what you need to do is tell him," I explained softly, still in shock. "Just tell him everything, even the _popping your cherry _bit," wince "and you two can make decisions together."

She thought about it for a minute. "Well, rape sounds a lot better, but I guess that could work. Thanks Leah!" Claire hugged me and left.

I collapsed on my couch and shuddered at the horror that was that girl's mind. I vowed never to return to the leeches' den again in fear of that Edwin guy learning about this. And I probably wouldn't want to phase soon either…

I stopped. What the hell? I'm the Leah Clearwater, legit bitch of La Push. I cower to no one. I make people hide from me. That conversation had fried my brain, and now it was going to fry everyone else's.

I smirked and went out to phase so either my brother or Jake would hear the 'friendly chat' and hopefully pass it along to the vamps. Yep, eventually I was going to have this news even in Sam's pack.

But before I did, I gave Quil a little heads-up text. I wrote, _Hey Quil, don't let Claire 'pop your cherry!'_

Oh yeah. The Bitch was back for good.

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**Well? Love? Hate? Want to destroy? I like it. Anyway I just got a boyfriend who I've had a crush on for a while! Go me!**

** XXX,  
****Kat**


	2. The Innocence Of Seth Clearwater

**I do not own Twilight. I do not own Funny Girl. I do not own Lady Gaga or Bad Romance. I do not own Glee.**

** Now aren't you interested to read this?**

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I really need to imprint. Or if not that, at least get a girlfriend. Really. Every other guy in my head is completely settled down. I'm single, and have been since 6th grade.

_Wow. 6__th__ grade? That's pathetic man._

_ It is not!_

Embry shook his furry head. _No dude, it really is. 'Sides, I haven't imprinted you know._

_ Oh I know. But you have four girlfriends. _It was true. Embry had four girls: Mayzie, Eliza, Beth, and Caitlyn. And don't worry; they're all well aware of each other.

_Hey man, what can I say? Ladies dig the wolves._

But, but, but why haven't I met someone? I think if I weren't in wolf form I might cry.

_Oh hell no man! Don't go all emotional on me! Goddamn…_

_ EMBRY! _I mentally screamed. _Stop cursing!_

_ Seriously man, I think I know what the problem is._

I was fed up. _WHAT?_

_ You're too naïve._

Psh, that wasn't it at all. I knew about so many things, it wasn't even funny. I was practically a walking, talking urban dictionary!

_Oh really? Then what do you know about Seth?_

Uh, um, well… Crap. _I uh, know, well, I mean, I know about, um-_

Embry growled. _Seriously Seth. Are you talking about se-_

_ DON'T SAY IT! MY VIRGIN EARS!_

_ See, this is what I'm talking about _Embry thought. _You just admitted you're a virgin and you have heterophobia._

… _I have what?_

He tapped his paw impatiently. _You know, fear of s-_

_ SHUT UP!_

Embry did a weird bark/laugh thing.

I was insulted. Okay, maybe I didn't like hearing people curse. And maybe I was a virgin both physically and mentally. But that didn't mean that I was a herme-whatever like Embry said. Or did it?

My mind stopped it's pointless thinking when we felt someone phase.

_Hey guys! How are ya'll doing today? I'm doing fantastic! Today is a great day!_

Leah... perky, happy…

WHAT THE HECK?

_Um, Leah? Are you on drugs? Have you had crack anytime today? _Embry asked cautiously.

She shook her head. _Nope! Not today at least… Anyway, I've got something to tell you guys that I promise you will NEVER forget!_

_ Well tell us already! _I thought crankily. Why on earth was my sister acting so weird? Had she finally hit craziness? Maybe she murdered Emily or Sam or Jake…

Oh god, please, _please, _don't let her have murdered Jake!

Leah pawed me. PLAYFULLY. _No silly, I didn't murder Jake. _She paused and looked around. _Wait, has he not phased?_

Embry and I thought in unison _Nope._

_ SHIT!_ And I saw a glimpse of Leah and Claire talking. But it was soon replaced with:

_Don't tell me not to live, just sit and putter!__Life's candy and the sun's a ball of butter!__Don't bring around a cloud to rain on my parade__!_

…

_What. The. Fu-_

_ Don't say it. _I hissed non-threateningly at Embry. I was too shocked. My sister, _Leah Clearwater, _was singing some Barbara Streisand song.

Embry commented in awe, _Wow…_

Leah continued to sing_, __Don't tell me not to fly, I simply got to.__If someone takes a spill, it's me and not you__! __Who told you you're allowed to rain on my parade__? (You idiots it's from Funny Girl!) __I'll march my band out, I'll beat my drum__! __And if I'm fanned out, your turn at bat, sir!(Though Streisand did sing the original…)__At least I didn't fake it, hat, sir!__I guess I didn't make it!_

Embry and I listened in complete shock for the rest of the song. We could tell Leah was desperate to keep us from seeing something. She panicked for a half a second, and for that half a second, I thought I heard something about a 'mind rape.' How horrid!

Then I saw a picture of a bunch of creepy looking people frozen around this one girl with white hair and freaky sunglasses. Strange piano music played in the background. And then the woman began to sing with Leah joining in:

_Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, caught in a bad romance! Oh, oh, oh,_ _oh, oh, caught in a bad romance!_

_ Not Gaga… _Embry whimpered. I too, tried to think happy thoughts. Pink bunnies, imprinting, food, anything… But nothing worked. There was nothing we could do to block her out.

_Ra ra uh uh uh! Ruh ma, ruh ma ma! Gaga ooh la la! Want your bad romance!_

We both were crying out in agony when someone else phased. _What the… _

_JAKE! _Leah squealed (Yes that's right, she _squealed). _

_Um, hi. _He thought awkwardly. _Was that Ke$ha I heard?_

_ You idiot, it's Lady Gaga. _Leah spat. I felt relieved. My sister was actually sane and healthy and normal again.

_Put a sock in it Seth! _Like I said: normal.

_Anyway, I have something to show you guys. _She thought excitedly.

_What? _Jake asked sounding pretty irritated. Probably something to do with being away from Nessie to long. Sigh…

_Is it the new episode of Glee? 'Cause I missed it, and I feel like complete (sorry Seth) but I feel like crap right now. What happens? Oh god, tell me! TELL ME!_

...

…

…

Leah thought sort of awkwardly, _Well, sorry to burst your bubble, but Glee's had its season finale. They're only showing reruns now._

There was silence for a really long and strange silence that killed my ears from the din.

Okay yeah, that didn't happen, 'cause it's silent, but I like the expression.

` _No more Glee? _Embry thought hoarsely. _No more Will? No more Rachel? No more SUE?_

Leah shook her head. _No, not until September at least._

Embry didn't talk much after that, and if I actually swore, I would have sworn that I saw a tear fall from Embry's wolfy eye.

_Yeah anyway, _Leah thought. _I seriously have to show you all this._

_ Well show us. _I thought eagerly. I couldn't wait to see what it was going to be!

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…

…

…

_WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT? _Jake screamed in his mind while howling.

_Hey, chill. It was what's going on with Quil and Claire's "love life". _My evil sister thought smugly.

Oh my mind, my beautiful, innocent, naïve mind… Why oh why must my sister be such a- such a…

_Seth, if you don't say it, I will. Your sister is a bitch._

_ Took you long enough. _Leah contributed. _Besides Jake, I thought you would enjoy seeing a sneak peek of what you and little Loch Ness are going to go through quite soon._

Jake phased. I didn't blame him.

_Leah, how could you show us that? It was awful! Complete torture! Right Embry?_

…

_Embry?_

…

…

_How could you FOX? You took away my life…_

I snapped. _EMBRY! GET OVER IT!_

Embry got mad too. _Hey man, you've never watched it! It's art! It's sheer beauty and perfection! At least listen to Don't Stop Believin'! FOR GOD'S SAKE JUST LISTEN TO DON'T STOP BELIEVIN'!_

_ Calm down Embry. I'm sorry I insulted the almighty Glee. _In truth, I really wasn't, but I wasn't about to let Embry know that.

_Damn straight. _He thought.

_Whatever, _Leah changed the subject briskly. _And guys, I only showed it to you because you two have yet to imprint. I'm giving you a heads-up on what it's like. _She said; all while faking being cutesy and innocent.

I phased. I couldn't help it. She was really getting to me.

But then again, maybe if I wasn't so naïve and stuff, she wouldn't do that. Maybe I'd get a girlfriend, or better yet, an imprint!

Hmm. I thought about it for a while. Then I headed back to my house, or more specifically, my computer.

Oh yeah, I was going to urban dictionary.

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**For your information, you need to be worshiping me right now. I WAS NOT GOING TO CONTINUE THIS. It was meant as a one-shot, but due to encouragement, I am going to keep writing until I have the urge to stop. SO REVIEW!**

** Next up to bat: Edward.**


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